Too Much Dwelling On Past, How Helpful Is It?


Originally posted on Candles Online:

Time – an omnipresent factor that runs our entire life. Birth is recorded so is death in measuring units called hours, minutes and seconds which is basically Time. Past, present and future all have yardstick of years, months and days, it’s nothing but Time. We have bad times and good times, registered as moments and memories but Time nonetheless. Time never stops and ceases. If every matter is made up of cells then every matter is run by Time. Anyone from 1980’s era in India and who have seen Mahabharat on national television would understand and relate to “Main Samay Hoon” (I am The Time) pretty much summarising what I said 😁.

There’s a saying “Time once spent can’t be earned back unlike money” and it’s a fact to the core. We all have moments in our lives, where we dwell on our past and constantly wish how different the course of events could have been. A different action, a different desicion, a timely intervention, sometimes a delay perhaps could have chalked out an entire different picture to be enjoyed or cherished now.

Certain incidents/ desicions I regret the most in my life : I could have chosen computer science over commerce and that would have helped me fetch a job here in this foreign land, something I dearly yearn for. I could have done a certified professional course that could have added some volume to my dull CV. I could have had a bit prolonged career before I my wedding.

More or less I have more regrets concerning my professional decisions for I am unemployed for a decade now, something I have mentioned time and again in my write ups. Pondering over and over on those moments over a period of time now (see Time, I told you 😁) haven’t brought me any solace but some sense to say the least. Wondering how?

When I am lost in my search for answers in my past, my idleness in present questions me “you can’t anyways undo your past, what is your stand in present to make you stand in future? Why you are unearthing melancholy when your smiles and peace lie in discovery and exploration. When you have ideas, share them. When you have plans put them into action and see the drama unfold.”

Sounds too preachy right? But this is a reality I am living in. My tussle with time is on a different level. Every morning while busy in chores I think about my past, when done with morning routines my urge to relax myself overpowers my will to write blogs (in this context I thank Candles Online to give me impetus strong enough to write at least once a week 😁), paint or at least finish cleaning up of house (😁 but don’t jump to the conclusion that we love in shabby and unhygienic conditions, its just that it might not be presentable round the clock) to an extent that I end up procrastinating things on more than one occasion and by the evening I participate in a race against time to finish off pending chores before hitting the bed and on bed I toss planning to start a fresh day with renewed determination to make my own identity and announce it to the world and my family and again I loiter in the past (recent one though 🤣🤣) thinking I shouldn’t have wasted My Precious Time for once it’s gone it’s gone forever. It’s a cycle you see!

And it’s much vicious than that of poverty and complicated than that of a life cycle. Once you are a “procrastinator” then you certainly need a greater push to get out of that habit. Not yearly resolutions but we need a daily resolution to keep our “regret” mode at bay. And trust me my run is so on! 😁.

My Personal Realization: How I acted in past have strong reasons underlining them and thus they were apt then. My constant rant now can only earn me some sympathy sometimes but not useful anyways 😊. And I am not taking any or requisite amount of steps as an amendment, does it make sense?

So how often do you Procrastinate and regret?  If you are like me, then join the club not to boast but to fight our bad habit and put our Time to a better use other than for dwelling and digging past for if its bitter it won’t be better now either.

Thumb Rule For  Procrastination: You lose your right to complain if you don’t act on time or at all.

Remember this and march forward for past is so over, let it rest in peace 😁.

Suicide -The Only Solution?


Hi Everyone,

Suicide, a painful end to even painful life.  For many around the world pain of taking away own life is easier than leading the life itself.  I still fail to understand how could one muster enough courage to take such a dreadful decision when they could have an alternate solution.  Either jumping of a building or popping up sleeping pills or slitting the important nerve or hanging self or… we have a big range of options, nothing is painless then how the plan of suicide is executed, I am clueless.  Failure in exams, failed relationship, rejection in love, loss in business, rejection from society…. What could be a valid reason supporting this extreme step that might put an end to the problems of the person in question (as imagined by the same person) but crashes down the dreams and world of near and dear ones.

Thinking of such a complicated issue reminds me of a beautiful story that was telecast on national television almost three decades ago when I was a child:

A man severely bludgeoned by failure in life slowly drifts into depression.  He couldn’t see anything positive happening in life.  He did everything he could to salvage his family from heavy financial losses that he has incurred in business.  He had no alternate job either.  Surrounded by problems and no solution in sight he decided to commit suicide and takes a walk on railway track to lay off his life.  He was pulled aside in the nick of time by one of his friend and reprimanded for trying to commit such a serious offence (it is a crime legally as well).  The words of the man who was just saved were “why did you try to save me.  What is left in my life so that I shall live. You might have heard of Beg, Borrow and Steal.  I borrowed from every second person, begged for mercy from creditors in the face of insolvency but of no use.  And my morals taught me not to steal.  What shall I do in such a situation.  It’s always easier for anyone out of realm of my world to comment about what shall I do and shall not.  You tell me what option do I have” he questioned his friend and broke down in tears.  His friend tried to pacify him and said “Come with me I want you to meet someone”.  He took him to a mansion.  They went inside and the friend asked the servant to call the master of the house.  The first man was lost in his thoughts such as why they were there, whom they are going to meet, what could be reason behind this meeting and so on.  Soon an elderly man was in front of them. He was on a wheelchair.  They greeted each other.  The first man was wearing his problems on his face.  His friend explained the situation to the rich elderly man.  He smiled to himself and the first man couldn’t understand anything.  This to an extent also infuriated him.  “So young man, you were about to end your life, isn’t it?” asked the rich man.  The man answered in affirmative but a feeling of shame could be seen on his face. “And that too for such a small issue” the rich man again poked him. “Don’t belittle my problems.  Just because you were born with a silver spoon and continue to bathe and dine in prosperity you have no right to insult me or any person who is below you economically in this manner.  You have no idea what problems I have faced in my life” the man replied angrily.  To this the man in the wheelchair smiled and told him that he was born in slums where living is nothing but a nightmarish struggle of everyday.  Things are not easy for a physically able person in such conditions and he was handicapped since the age of three years.  With social disapproval and dismal conditions the determination to improve life not only for himself but for many like him gave him the impetus to strive hard for success in life.  He narrated him how he fought every odd and how he is now a millionaire and a shelter to many underprivileged, a source of employment to thousands.  At the end he asked the man who came to him “I would give you employment in one of my factories but would you return the favour by donating your legs to me?” The first man was taken aback doesn’t know what to answer.  He was soon moved by the voice of the man in the wheelchair “See if you can’t part away with one part of your body how could you end your life, isn’t it much painful.  When I can be here with a disability like this you can scale much greater heights given that you are physically able, age is on your side and I am sure you are gifted with a brain too”.  The man is now filled with a new enthusiasm decided to take life head on.

This story made me realise the importance of life.  I know people who are deep down in problems and depression have started engulfing them would say it is always easier to comment than to live their lives.  But believe me living and leading lives is definitely much easier than taking away lives.  Just the way we don’t have a right to end other’s lives we don’t possess that right even for ourselves.  For a simple reason: there are many lives tied to ours, our premature exit could spell disaster for them.  Today we all are on same page, bludgeoned by problems – medically, financially, emotionally but suicide is never a solution.  Before taking up such a drastic step lift your eyes and look around, there’s much more in this world and to this life – many souls with greater problems living with a smile of positivity and much more happiness, opportunities coming our way – don’t miss them.

 

 

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Bludgeon