Too Much Dwelling On Past, How Helpful Is It?


Originally posted on Candles Online:

Time – an omnipresent factor that runs our entire life. Birth is recorded so is death in measuring units called hours, minutes and seconds which is basically Time. Past, present and future all have yardstick of years, months and days, it’s nothing but Time. We have bad times and good times, registered as moments and memories but Time nonetheless. Time never stops and ceases. If every matter is made up of cells then every matter is run by Time. Anyone from 1980’s era in India and who have seen Mahabharat on national television would understand and relate to “Main Samay Hoon” (I am The Time) pretty much summarising what I said 😁.

There’s a saying “Time once spent can’t be earned back unlike money” and it’s a fact to the core. We all have moments in our lives, where we dwell on our past and constantly wish how different the course of events could have been. A different action, a different desicion, a timely intervention, sometimes a delay perhaps could have chalked out an entire different picture to be enjoyed or cherished now.

Certain incidents/ desicions I regret the most in my life : I could have chosen computer science over commerce and that would have helped me fetch a job here in this foreign land, something I dearly yearn for. I could have done a certified professional course that could have added some volume to my dull CV. I could have had a bit prolonged career before I my wedding.

More or less I have more regrets concerning my professional decisions for I am unemployed for a decade now, something I have mentioned time and again in my write ups. Pondering over and over on those moments over a period of time now (see Time, I told you 😁) haven’t brought me any solace but some sense to say the least. Wondering how?

When I am lost in my search for answers in my past, my idleness in present questions me “you can’t anyways undo your past, what is your stand in present to make you stand in future? Why you are unearthing melancholy when your smiles and peace lie in discovery and exploration. When you have ideas, share them. When you have plans put them into action and see the drama unfold.”

Sounds too preachy right? But this is a reality I am living in. My tussle with time is on a different level. Every morning while busy in chores I think about my past, when done with morning routines my urge to relax myself overpowers my will to write blogs (in this context I thank Candles Online to give me impetus strong enough to write at least once a week 😁), paint or at least finish cleaning up of house (😁 but don’t jump to the conclusion that we love in shabby and unhygienic conditions, its just that it might not be presentable round the clock) to an extent that I end up procrastinating things on more than one occasion and by the evening I participate in a race against time to finish off pending chores before hitting the bed and on bed I toss planning to start a fresh day with renewed determination to make my own identity and announce it to the world and my family and again I loiter in the past (recent one though 🤣🤣) thinking I shouldn’t have wasted My Precious Time for once it’s gone it’s gone forever. It’s a cycle you see!

And it’s much vicious than that of poverty and complicated than that of a life cycle. Once you are a “procrastinator” then you certainly need a greater push to get out of that habit. Not yearly resolutions but we need a daily resolution to keep our “regret” mode at bay. And trust me my run is so on! 😁.

My Personal Realization: How I acted in past have strong reasons underlining them and thus they were apt then. My constant rant now can only earn me some sympathy sometimes but not useful anyways 😊. And I am not taking any or requisite amount of steps as an amendment, does it make sense?

So how often do you Procrastinate and regret?  If you are like me, then join the club not to boast but to fight our bad habit and put our Time to a better use other than for dwelling and digging past for if its bitter it won’t be better now either.

Thumb Rule For  Procrastination: You lose your right to complain if you don’t act on time or at all.

Remember this and march forward for past is so over, let it rest in peace 😁.

Types People On Youtube


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I don’t watch serials, those heavy make ups, constant conspiracies and over the top acting is not my cup of tea. I don’t watch reality shows either because nothing is real about them to be true and the jarring suspense music to reveal the eliminations or winners is a big let down. But anyways who cares about people like me 😁. To put it simple and straight, apart from few good movies to catch up and my favourite Mahabharata (Indian mythological drama) idiot box in my home doesn’t serve much.

So where do I get my daily dose of entertainment from, but obvious YouTube. I binge on YouTube. I don’t stick to a particular genre, taste changes according to my mood, mood in the family and mood of the country 😂.  But the interesting part is that more than the videos I have kind of fetish to read the comments ensuing the video.  The kind of comments I find there tells a lot about the different mentalities of people. I am listing a few according to my observation:

  • Grammar Nazis:  This category people are my personal favourites as I get to learn so much about the language  leaving aside the topic in question 😂.  One misspelled word, one misplaced word/ punctuation and we have them in action.  It could be their command over the language or love for it that they can’t tolerate the mistakes in language, difference of opinions can be countered later.
  • Forever Romantics:  No matter what is the situation, how seriously people are involved in presenting their viewpoint I always came across a set of hopelessly (or shall we say too many Hope’s pinned 😉) romantic people who never ceases to try their luck in the comment section expecting a favourable response.  “Hi Ma’am you are very beautiful, please call me at xxxxxxxxx”, “Hi can we be friends”, “I love you” – few examples how Romeos search for their Juliet on YouTube (or any social media platform for that matter).
  • Family People:  Stop! Before you jump to conclusions let me clarify literal translation won’t work here.  These are the people who use cuss words using “relations” (you know what I mean, don’t want to elaborate further) in every sentence they state.  It’s the way they express themselves, oppose opinions of others, they swear.  It’s basically part of their grammar unfortunately.
  • No words, only emojis:  I think I don’t need further words to explain this 😁😁😁😁.  Sometimes I get confused whom they are supporting amidst the threads of comments going on.
  • Repeat mode on:  Off late I have come across a new genre of people commenting on YouTube and they are the “Repeaters” .  To emphasise their point of view or to get noticed or simply they have too much time (may be lack of it) they repeat their comment everywhere (in every reply, in every related video).  They are not just repeaters but the most irritating group on YouTube.
  • Promotion guys:  Just like the forlorn/ forever romantics there’s a group which don’t cease to take up every opportunity to promote its agenda on videos that are least or not at all related to their business (literal and otherwise). There are people who promote their own channels,  their business ideas, businesses and what not.  I am still confused if I can call them intelligent or opportunists or desperate 🤔.
  • The comparison brigade:  Well, we find them in every sphere, in every walk of life – Never Happy.  Always comparing things, people, situations.  They are the epitome of pessimism to put it simple.  For instance there’s a song playing and everything about that is simply amazing and everyone in the comment thread is praising it but the forever sworn unhappy people do mark their presence with their comments like “nah! It would have been better if it was sung by so and so”, “actor X would have been/is better than this actor Y”, ” things were better in our times”, ” song would have been better if recorded on Mars” and it continues 😂😂😂.

So these are few observations that I have made off late.  You also might have few observations, suggestions or corrections for that matter to add.  Feel free to drop them in “Comment” section 😁.  I am waiting 😉.